


you better do it soon (no time will be better)

by Did



Series: Captain Rez'okun's Big Gay Crisis [3]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Cultural Differences, Multi, Rezokun/Ty’jin pre-ship as observed by background NPCs, UST, the NPCs are also flirting but that's less important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 02:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16631267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Did/pseuds/Did
Summary: Sometimes the Zandalari and the Darkspear talk past each other.





	you better do it soon (no time will be better)

"It be embarrassin' to watch, right?"

“Mmh. It’s like a shipwreck. It’s terrible, but I can’t look away.”

Shadow Hunter Ki’tani perches atop the ship’s railing next to Midshipman Umenzi, the stuffed macaw nailed to her right pauldron wobbling gently in the sea breeze. Umenzi is supposed to be holystoning the deck, but he, along with most other trolls currently abovedeck, is too busy watching the fascinating display occurring at the other end of the ship.

It’s not every day, after all, that one gets to see two grown trolls dance around each other like a pair of puffed-up harbor saurids during mating season.

“When’s ya captain gonna let poor ol’ Ty’jin off the hook, eh?” groans Ki’tani, leaning back over the railing in a mildly alarming way. She kicks her feet with restless energy. “It be cruel to keep him danglin’ like this.”

Umenzi gives her a skeptical look. “What are you talking about? The old shadow hunter’s been stringing Rez’okun along for weeks!”

Now it’s Ki’tani’s turn to look skeptical. “And how do ya figure that, mon?”

Umenzi squirms, unprepared to be suddenly put on the spot. "Well. I mean. Didn’t you hear Rez’okun, bein’ all romantic just now? Talkin’ about how beautiful the sunset is, and such?”

"So? The sun sets every day. It don’t got nothin’ to do with Ty’jin."

"It’s...it’s the implication, you know?” says Umenzi, wishing he didn’t sound so desperately awkward. He clears his throat and does his best impression of a dashing romantic hero in one of those silly stageplays he sometimes attends in port towns. “Like, _‘ah, this sunset is almost as beautiful as your eyes, my love! I will soon retire to my chambers, won’t you join me?’”_

Ki’tani bursts into raucous laughter. Umenzi grins around his tusks, caught between self-consciousness and absurd pride. There is a certain feeling of accomplishment that comes with getting a beautiful woman to laugh at a stupid joke.

“It’s true, Ki’tani! He's practically begging Ty'jin to jump into bed with him!”

Mortifyingly, Ki’tani is starting to look at him with an expression of dawning realization. "Whatchu talkin' about, mon? You was just talkin’ to me about the sunset the other day!"

"That is true." replies Umenzi with great dignity. Then he winces when Ki’tani punches him in the arm. Who knew Darkspear were so _strong?_

"Well why didn't'cha just ask if I wanted to take a ride, ya big oaf? I be sayin' yes!"

"Ah." he says, eyes wide. Ki'tani looks at him expectantly.

Umenzi opens his mouth, then falters. "...so. Just like that, huh?"

"Ya can't even say it, can ya."

"I'm working up to it!"

"Say it! Say it!" She grabs him by the shoulders "Say 'hey Ki'tani, come take a ride on my big - fancy - Zandalari - cock!'"

She shakes him in time with each syllable until they're both wheezing with laughter. A few nearby crewmen hoot and whistle at them.

"I cannot promise how fancy it is," he says, wiping a tear from his eye. "But it is here for you if you want it, Ki'tani."

(  )

"I be takin' ya up on that. Just as soon as we all finished watchin' this shitshow."

She clambers into his lap and settles in without the slightest hint of self-consciousness. Umenzi obligingly encircles her in his arms. They resume watching. After a moment, Ki'tani clicks her tongue disapprovingly.

"Look at ol' Ty'jin, puttin' his ears back for Rez'okun like a warg pup. Why don’t’cha roll over and beg while you’re at it, old man?"

Umenzi sighs. "The captain keeps asking about Ty'jin's family. He is hoping Ty'jin will tell him if he is married or not, but Ty'jin just keeps showing him pictures of his kids."

Ki'tani hums. "Ty'jin don' have a wife."

"Tell that to the captain."

A few more silent moments pass.

"Ugh. The captain is giving one of his 'beauty of the sea' speeches again."

"That be what Zandalari flirtin' sound like?"

"It does when every other sentence is some kind of sexual metaphor. I can’t believe he just said _‘can you taste the salt in the air’._ "

"Mmm. And here I be thinkin' he just really, really enjoys sailin'."  

“He does. But not as much as he’s enjoying the sight of Ty’jin climbin’ around in the rigging.”

“He’s not even lookin’!”

“He is! He’s just tryin’ real, real hard to look like he isn’t.”

"Pfeh! I be callin’ that ungrateful. He could at least acknowledge Ty'jin puttin' all his muscles on display like that."

"Well...we _are_ on a ship. Half-naked trolls put their muscles on display every day here."

"I know! That’s why I love this posting.”

Umenzi has nothing to say to that, but he does surreptitiously shift his arms in such a way that his biceps are displayed to their best advantage. The noise that Ki’tani makes in response is gratifyingly appreciative.

"Heh. See how Rez'okun keeps trying to get Ty'jin to take that stupid hat off?"

"Ya?"

"He saying he wants to get him naked.”

"Ah. Tricky, tricky Zandalari."

“I prefer to think of us as _subtle._ ”

“As subtle as Ty’jin doing the _fleh’men_ at Rez’okun just now?”

“Is that what that was? I thought he was getting ready to sneeze.”

“You Zandalari be hopeless. It’s a wonder any of ya ever manage to get past all this jabber-jawin’ and get to the main event!”

“Because all that flexing and sniffing is clearly working out so well for Ty’jin.”

“It must have worked on someone. Boss-mon’s got two kids.”

“Hm. Rez’okun don’t have any.”

“‘Cause he’s married to the sea?”  

“Yes. Also, he’s a full-on bent-tusk.”

Ki’tani cackles. “I be learnin’ all kinds of new things today! We be like wildlife researchers, watchin’ these two.”

Umenzi nods sagely. “We should quit the navy and become scholars. We could publish a treatise. ‘ _The mating habits of emotionally constipated trolls’._ ”

Ki’tani leans back against Umenzi’s chest and smiles up at him, wide and sly. Her teeth are white and exceptionally sharp. “You gonna teach me about _matin’ habits_ , sailor?”

Merciful _loa._

“Yes _ma’am!_ ” Umenzi springs immediately to his feet, scooping a squealing Ki’tani into a bridal carry. She reflexively clings to him, laughing, and her sharp nails dig into the back of his neck in a way that is really quite pleasant.

“Now that’s what I call initiative! Ya not gonna finish scrubbin’ the deck, mon?”

“I don’t think the captain’s gonna notice.”

“Fair point. Let’s go get started on that _research_.”

 

 

**Epilogue:**

 

Up near the ship’s helm, Captain Rez’okun tears his eyes away from the sight of Ty’jin’s tusks gleaming in the dying light just in time to observe something peculiar.

“...Shadow Hunter.”

“Ya, mon?”

“Did one of my crew just pick up one of _your_ crew and carry her away?”

Ty’jin grunts. “Let ‘em go. At least _somebody’s_ havin’ some fun on this ship.”

“Eh? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothin’, mon. Nothin’ at all.”


End file.
